22 TEXTS
There is no order

GENIUS
I don´t know why everybody thinks that I´m a genius. According to me I´m not a genius. Yesterday I told them: “Listen ! I am not a genius ! What kind of a genius I would be ?“ But they said: “One like this !“ I told them: “What kind of a genius then ?“ But they don`t tell what kind of a genius, they only say that I`m a genius, a genius. According to me I am not a genius. Wherever I appear, immediately everybody starts to whisper and to point at me with their fingers. “What is this all about“, I say. But they don`t let me say a word and before I can do something they grab me and carry me on their hands.

MAGICIAN
Do you know the story of the miracle man,
who didn`t do any miracles ?

NAKED
My mother gave birth to me and placed me in the water. I floated. Some kind of a fish circled around me. I started crying. The fish also started crying. Suddenly we saw that porridge was floating on the water on the water. We ate the porridge and started to laugh. We felt very cheerful. We floated downstream and met a large crayfish. He held an axe in his claws. Behind the crayfish swam a naked frog.
“Why are you naked all the time“, the crayfish said,“aren`t you ashamed ?“.“There is nothing shameful about it“, the little frog answered. “Why should we be ashamed of the good body that nature gave us, when we are not ashamed of the bad actions which we ouerselves do ?“
“What you say is right“, said the crayfish, “I don`t know how to answer you. I suggest we ask a human being, because human beings are more intelligent than we are. We are intelligent only in fables, which human beings write about us, so that even there after all it is the human being who is intelligent and not we.“
But at this point the crayfish saw me and asked:“Does one have to be ashamed of one`s naked body ? You are a human being, answer us !“

BIRTH
I want to tell how I was born and how the first indications of a genius were spotted in me. My father wanted me to be born first of January. He calculated that the conception had to happen first of April. That day he came to my mother with the proposal to make a child. She was teribbly happy, because she had waited a long time for this moment. But my father was in the mood of making jokes and couldn´t resist saying: “April fool“. She was terribly offended and didn´t let him touch her that day anymore. He got very angry, but it didn´t help. He had to wait till next year
...I was born for the first time 14.October 1970.
...I was a premature.
... I was born 7 weeks to early.
My father got terribly angry, such that the midwife started to push me back where I just had come out. But as it turned out, not there to where I came from. My mother was shouting, a terrible chaos started. Until the doctors found out what happened and they gave her quite a portion of englis salt. She got diarrea and that’s how I was born the second time on 17 of December. My father shouted „You can’t call this a birth. That’s not a human being yet. Either he will be pushed back or else put in the incubator“. So I was put in the incubator.
...I spent 6 weeks in the incubator.
...My real birthday is the first of December.
...I have the same astrological sign: Saggitarius.
After 2 weeks they let me out of the incubator.
That happened precisely on the first of January.
That’s how I was born for the third time and my birthday is indeed celebrated on first of January.
I was born several times. That was a long time ago around 1905 in St. Petersburg, Russia.

BROTHER
I imagine I am my brother.
I have a moustacho. And I am rich.
I dress up in my best clothers and go to theather.
I mingle with important people.
And I say:
„Every man should wear a moustacho.“
I don’t beg for money. I has just have it.

NUMBERS
Omnia in numeris sita sunt.
(Everything is hidden in numbers)
1. It used to be that the numerical series began with 2
2. One is not a number. One is the first and sole perfection.
3. The first quantity, the first number, and the first departure ....from perfection is 2. (according to Pythagoras)
4. Let us imagine that One is the first number.
5. The new One is subject to the law of common numbers.
6. The law of common numbers is the law of masses.
7. The law of singles ones is false, there is no such law. There ...is only the law of masses.
8. The law of large and small numbers is the same. The ...difference is only quantitative.
9. The human being and the word and the number are subject ...to one and the same law.
10. One person thinks logically, many think fluidly.
11. I am One, but I think fluidly.

HEAR & SEE
I took care not to close my ears.
Everybody closed his ears, just me not.
And that’s why I am the only one, who heard everything.
I also didn’t a piece of cloth in front of my eyes, like all the others did. And that’s why I have seen everything.
I am the only one who saw and heard everything.
But unfortunately I didn’t understand anything of it.
I can’t even remember what I’ve seen and heard.

SCIENCE
Let us begin.
Let’s sit in a circle.
The door of knowledge I will open for everybody.
Science makes comparable what is uncomparable.
Science reduces everything to abstract amounts.
Science is nothing without numbers.
Let’s start with the numbers.
The 3 looks like a heart which is cut in halves.

Do you agree ?

FATTISH GIRLS
Shave off your moustachos!
Shave off your oxsel hair.
You are not goats, you are not cats.
You’re not mushrooms, that you stand around with hats!
All, ladys! Pull off your hats a little!
All, my beauties! Pull off your skirts!
Well now, you, baby, sit down on top of me.
Girls, cut off your hair!
You are not zebras that you around with tails.
You fattish girls! Invite us for holidays.

SEVEN OR EIGHT
An amazing thing happened to me:
I suddenly forgot which came first, seven or eight.
I went to my neighbours wife and asked her, what she thought about it. I was really amazed when she told me, that she too couldn’t remember the counting sequence. She remembered one, two, three, four, five, and six, but she forgot what came after that. We went into the shop down at the corner and asked the cashier. The cashier smiled sadly and said: „I think seven comes after eight in those cases when eight comes after seven.“ We thanked the cashier and ran joyfully out of the shop. But then thinking about her words, we fell silent again, because her words turned to make no sense. What to do ? We went into the park and counted trees. But after we reached six, we stopped and argued. We argued for a long time, but fortunately a little boy fell off a park bench and broke both jaws.

MOMENT
It is something if you say: „Print in your memory what is happening right in this moment.“ Example: One, two, three! Nothing happened! I printed a moment in my memory in which nothing happened. I talked about that with my neighbours wife. She liked ot very much and we spent the whole day counting: One, two, three! We registered that nothing happened. Please pay attention, that I was the creator of this original method to print in your memory what is happening in our century; because a century consists of moments.

POSE
Creat for yourself a pose and have the character to hold it out. I had once the pose of an Indian, then the one of Sherlock Holmes, then the one of a Yogi, then the one of an oil wrestler.

HANGED MAN
We say: that’s me.
I give you the key
For you to say I.
How our grandmothers told us, I get the key when I find the flower mandrake, which blossoms once a year. But Where grows that flower ?
It grows in the forest, under a tree growing upside down. You’re walking thru the huge sleeping forest, but you don’t find a single tree, that grew upside down. If you go into the forest, first look out of the window to see what weather it is.
I look out of the window and I see: there starts the road, there the open field, and there stands the tree.
The sky turns upside down and falls on the earth, earth and water fly up in the sky. If you see this, then you discover the flower blossoming in your chest. I say: „This is the end of the old world, I have seen a new world.“

GUEST
When I see somebody I want to hit him in the face.
It’s such a pleasure to hit somebody in the face.
I sit at home in my room doing nothing. Somebody drops in to see me. He knocks on the door. I say: „Come in.“ He comes in and says: „Hello. Nice that I caught you at home.“ I offer him a cup of tea. The guest accepts, sits down at the table, drinks the tea, and starts talking about something. I act as if I am listening to him with great interest, nod my head, ooh and aah, raise my eyes in surprise, and laugh. The guest, flattered by my attention, lets himself go more and more. I calmly fill his cup with boiling water and splash the water in his face. He jumps up screaming.
I say: “I don´t have anymore kind feelings in my heart.
Get out !“

TIME
In 1918 they changed the calendar because of the revolution. They put the year 13 days ahead, so imagine, if I really was born on 17 of December, I turned out to be born on 30 of December, which is almost first of January, but not completely. Or you could say I was born 14 of January, when I left the incubator. Which leaves you with four birthdates. If you add the birthdate numbers you can find out the Life Lesson Number which rules you.
Which of the four birthdates do you take ?
Can you call it a birth, when you are still in the incubator ?
Do you take the calendar before or after the revolution ?
Can you trust your parents about the things they told you about your birth ?

SUGAR & SALT
I will now begin to kick up my feet,
I will walk over the plank and I will not tremble,
I will run along the edge and I will not fall.
I eat salt, and you sugar.
I have my vegetable gardens and orchards.
My goat is greezing in my garden.
A fur hat lies in my storage chest.
I´ll do it my way.
You are just a pint of smoke to me.

NAME
If you translate the letters of my name into numbers, you can find out that my Soul Number could be 11. Depends how you count.
e-5 i-9 o-6 i-9 a-1 e-5 a-1 i-9 a-1 a-1 i-9 a-1 a-1 is 58,
5 and 8 is 13, 1 and 3 is 4, 4 is not 11.
About 11 as the Soul Number it says:
“You have been on the spiritual path for a long time, probably for more than one incarnation. Through spiritual evolution you have learned much of the mysteries of life and death.“

I changed my name several times: Sardan, Dandan, Zatocnik, Harmonius, Professor K.J.Schusterling, Trubockin, Toporyskin, Vinny Vaseline, Limbo Jack.

Which name to choose to find out my Soul Number ?
Do you use the latin alfabet or the cyrillic ?

ESTHER
You can think it´s a joke, but before you I was in love really only once. That was with Esther - translated into Russian, The Star. I loved her for seven years. For me she was not only the woman I loved, but something that entered into all my thoughts and actions. I didn’t talk with Esther in Russian, and I wrote her name in Latin letters. Then I made a monogram out of them and that’s what came out of it:

I called it the window thru which I looked at the sky and see a star. The star I called paradise, but one which is very far away.
You see me thru the window:

You see me in the door:

WITCH
I am a short man. „I would do anything if only could be a little taller.“
Suddenly I see a witch standing in front of me.
„What do you want ?“ the witch asks.
I stand there, but I am so frightened that I can’t say anything.
„Well ?“ says the witch.
I stand there and say nothing.
The witch disappears.
I start crying and biting my nails.

SONG
My father has fun with names.
He called me after an Indonesian, anti-colonial, muslim movement:
Gerakan Indonesia.
Ger-indo.
He liked their song.
Hade, goreng, nasip urang sarerea, di jaman pancaroba
(Good, bad, our fate altogther, in this time of transition)
Ulah ngalajur nafsu, kuduh penkuh kuat iman,
nandang nandang nu Kawasa
(Don’t follow the evil, we have to be solid and strong,
follow God’s will)
Ditangtayungan Belanda Japan yang ta berbudi
(Holland and Japan are the ones to be blamed)

FLY
What others manage with a huge effort, I manage easily. I can even fly. But I won’t tell about it, because you don’t believe it anyway.

MIRACLE MAN
This is what I thought out yesterday:
It’s about a magician who lives in our time and does not do miracles. He knows he is a miracle man and can do any miracle he wants, but he doesn’t do it. They move him out of his appartment. He knows he only would have to wave his figure and he could keep his appartment, but he doesn’t do it. He moves humbly out of his appartment and lives outside of town in a barn. He’s able to turn the barn into a beautiful brick house, but he doesn’t do that. He goes on living in the barn and in the end he dies without having done one miracle in his whole life.